Would [Y]ou be there to kiss my pain away?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

~Lonely christmas~

today went to vivo to buy shirt..hmm..bought a blazer..a white wan for ebase..it cost $89...arggg...but it was nice..that siow hong la..nv giv mi the voucher earlier if not can get cheaper..andrew bought formal shirt and pant for clubbing..haha..he bluff siow hong that got 30% off from G2000 but in the end..onli valid for 1 item..haha..looking at their face reali can laugh..they 2 was conned by kah kit..he was the one who tell mi that it can be used for all item bought...wahahha..lucky me..none suit mi so i nv buy..i like 1 shirt from "DOMANCHI"..was nice but cost $109..argg..and it is a white one aso..

after we went to ps to find ah bee they all..pass agnus the $$ for annie bday on thurs..was going to "FREEZE" a pub on thurs to celebrate her bday...hmm..we are getting her a K800i for her...was thinking whether wan to go gladys there on sat..it is held at BBBC..actually plan to go MOS on christmas eve wan but i guess they decided to hold the party at ah bee hse...we postpone the clubbing date to new yr eve...i think we going st james station..haha..i think tat was a nice place to hang ard..but i noob la..haha...need someone experience to hang out with mi if not i sure embarrass myself...duno hw to dance onli at there drink...might as well go coffee shop..

i think going to shop for the christmas present soon for the exchange..if not no time to buy liaoz..sunday need to exchange with them laioz...i think i buying the choc fondue..haha..=)

haiz..christmas approaching yet i feel so empty..all those program i plan much earlier are dashed..i think i make the right choice ba but haiz..guess hav to spend it without a companion again this yr..i think the yr after yr will still be de same ba..hate to c couple being so loving together..or let say jealous..maybe i didn't have 1 to spend the time with mi so i may feel this way..i hate to c anticipate those festival coming like christmas,new yr, valentine day all tat...coz this date are mostly for couple..and i envy those that can spend those time together..hw nice it was to have someone by ur side when watching movie or strolling in the park..doesn't have those feeling for a long time..=( guess have to endure until i find someone that reali touched my hrt..

Searching for the 'Y'ou.
12:18 PM

Monday, December 11, 2006

~One Love~

One love - for the mother's pride
One love- for the times we cried
One love - gotta stay alive,I will survive
One love - for the city streets
One love- for the hip-hop beats
One love, Oh I do believe

One love is all we need!

Searching for the 'Y'ou.
10:23 PM

~last journey~

ystd didn't reali slp coz morning have to wake up veri early as to reach my grandma wake there at 6...was damn tired..but worth it as it is the last thing i could do for my grandma. the ritual start ard 8 till 9 den we went to bright hill temple to cremated my grandma body..went to collect the ashes n bones at 12..and it all ended... hmm...i could onli c her last look and i missed her alot...haiz..

thanx everyone who hav showed mi concern throughout this few days..i reali appreciate those who try to cheer mi up..i feel alot better nw..the one i need the most support from were not there for mi..maybe she doesn't noe a thing ba...hmm..nvm...reali see things on the bright side already...i guess everyone hav to treasure what u have wad u still can, dun regret until when things is gone..life is so fraGILe...

my life juz getting more n more plain each day...haiz...=(

Searching for the 'Y'ou.
9:50 AM

Thursday, December 07, 2006

~Grandma-rest in peace~ *love u*

haiz..my grandma pass away today when i was working.. i was working by then when my mom called say grandma have pass away already..was shocked when i heard that.. i rmb when i visit her on sunday..she was still so active n lively..was even playing cards with my cousin and aunty..hw do i noe it was the last time i saw her..was sad...she dote on mi alot..wad i wan she will buy from mi when young...and was even giving mi $$ when i visit her...i rush down by cab when i came upon the news..haiz..i reach there onli can c her lying on her bed...she looked veri pale..i feeling like crying but can cry out..dunno y..i noe i love her but tears juz wun come out...went with my cousin to get the death cert for her...was feeling damn low manz...she juz gone like tat...my aunt say she like giving back thing to her,like she noe she going to die..does a person anticipate his/hers death??i duno..but i reali miss her nw..it seems like everyone close to me is leaving mi..first my father , nw my ah ma...i scare to c another loved one leave mi..i am veri scared..if can i hope to leave this world faster then them rather den seeing them leave before mi..i hate that feeling...haiz...may god bless her have a smooth journey...

TO MY BELOVED GRANDMA!!! I LOVE U AND I REALI MEAN IT...TAKE CARE...

Searching for the 'Y'ou.
8:16 AM

Monday, December 04, 2006

~Stress~

haiz..tml holiday le but i nw having stress all over my head..probably because of the UT result i get..haiz..unexpectedly i get my first F..f= failed.. i reali tink i noe hw to do and i apply the stupid code correctly but still end up fail and worse still an F.. my first UT F in RP..veri demoralising..haiz.. hw can a D+, E, n F pass my module..haiz...retain 1 yr in sec sch not enough, rp aso giv mi 1 yr..shit manz..i noe it is not over.. still got the last ut.. but i doubt i can achieve an A or B in tat JAVA programming..haiz..worse still..my web aso de same..hope de 3rd ut can pass..hopefully an B den i can cover for my lost gpa..my A's like long lost liaoz..for a my yr 2 module.. 1 A aso dun hav..best onli achieve an B..haiz..nw feeling damn xianz..

was thinking whether wan to go thailand with my boss n andrew anot..i think flying off this sun if no delay..nv reali went abroad b4..but aso miss s'pore...haiz..so many factor to consider..i guess reali need to take a break..i need fresh air in my mind..was thinking abt things that others wun understand..i tink i juz putting unneccessary pressure to myself..i think mi n "her" was a completely different character.. 2 different world of ppl...JC-Retainee...wad i like is completely different from her perspective..i thinking if i never noe "her", hw would my life have been??but i dun regret noeing her coz i think it's worth it till nw..maybe as someone told mi b4..char differences..difficult to blend 1 environment to another..i dun wan to force myself anymore..keep bluffing myself juz take mi to no end.. studies.love all i acheive nothing...nw to mi love life is phobia..i scare to reali take another step forward again.. juz memories juz to be kept...~my life is full of shit~

PP,FYP,CE..all aso haven complete..haiz..wtf i am doing aso dunno...thinking if i wasn't born in this world hw gd it will be..reali sick n tired of the surrounding, ppl and EVERYTHING!!

Searching for the 'Y'ou.
6:41 AM